CertifiedTrashGuys

Some days I am the light, the vanquisher I wield the heavenly torch as the world sinks into rapture, into grace. I dissolve into a peaceful nothing, my name erases itself from invisible monuments of dishonor and timeworn rhyme. I want to be the spark, I want the world to burn with my name on every tongue. ..... And some days I just want to be dead.

Dreams. Dirty renderings. White pillows. Reaching. Giving in. The contents of my gut splatter the concrete. Silver is all the brighter up choice, I admire the sun at my temple - mounted on mahogany. Such a pretty murder weapon Pity he wastes it on milky brown gaunt cheeks From too many dates with the scale. Beautiful?     Maybe someday.

There's something magical about falling in love with your best friend. Especially when her smiles are as scorching as her words and she makes you feel less like something gone and more like something coming- something to look forward to. She makes me want to fly, but low enough to hold her hand. Is that insane? Probably. You learn a lot of things when you're in love. You grow accustomed to simple pains like being out of reach The purple of early mornings and dark tea become your best friends. You forget how to emphasize because you need to empathize. You love in lieu of being loved. You know you're obsessed when you think gay things like 'e

(i.) I asked my father what it meant to be in love. He told me love is not the flame, it is the reservoir of wax at the foot of the candle. It has walls, an end, and it will spill. I wanted to ask if it can still be over if I just keep holding your voice in my mind. (ii.) I asked my mother how I would know when I found the one. She told me I never would, that there was no point in wasting precious breath and time. I wonder why that was easier to believe. (iii.) I asked my sister if she wanted to fall in love. She told me not to wait up. She said if it comes, she'll take it but she'd rather smile to herself. Since when did little girls get s

(i.) she was steadfast. held my hand so tight I saw purple past dots in the sky - I watched the stars die. (ii.) she folded me like the pleats of her skirt, army-regulation. we dimmed the lights to make our own midnight and she set her head in the rocky canyon of my thighs    we were less like two and closer to nothing just a pair of waterlogged, intertwined hands. (iii.) I miss a lot of things. I miss the way she said things soft enough to be an excuse to touch her. the way her curls looked locked in amber but always grew towards the sun, yet despite all the life in her, she still managed to be dead. sometimes she would be my air and some

(i.) Star Girl Died in my Mercury eyes And dark Saturn rings line tired eyes at a black veil wedding of life and the death that keeps my gift (forever keeps falling and the line chafes my bones). (ii.) Fiery Venus Melts the frames of glass that held her back The atmosphere's on fire tonight And the ashes char black. Weary of trading off night and day She took to the sun. (iii.) Cold gray core dims the light of my twice-dead star She tells me that she'll be back soon Soon means something I haven't reached yet, I'm trying to touch my hand to this wall but it's fracturing under what I feel. (Trees grow wild here, laced in auburn threads of ha

(i.) She drew hearts in her coffee with her straw. Steam shaded my view, and yet I strained to understand the nothing she stared at so intently - I could practically see the smoke. Smoke, I thought, and from the dead vine of my memory sprouted an unwanted seed. Growth is not always progressive, you see. (ii.) She wouldn’t walk past the battered stoop. I think she noticed how it looked like a war zone; her eyes had that look That look that, even though you know better, makes you think you’re swimming on dry land Panting through dust clouds and sentient trees. Eyes are not the window to the soul- They are everyone’s secret

i. envision being in love with a supernova. she is angelic, divine and she says she loves you true. she's a blue flame but you're a white dwarf you're a candle girl love will melt you from the outside in. ii. envision being a star that's finally aligned. coffee smiles and fogged-up glasses sprinkle your future they look like diamonds from a distance - because they are you are the luckiest out there because gravity's too tired to hold you down. iii. envision not having to care about time. you spend three hours forty-six minutes and eleven seconds on the phone with her but you dream about when you'll be able to hold her hand, take her on walk

you know the feeling when you love someone so much that you feel like you're growing, inflating, bursting into some sort of attraction to catch their eye and bubble into something better than you'd ever hoped to be, and they feel the same-    but not towards you? and you want to die but you're just shriveling and rotting away, and when they ask if you're okay you smile a glassy smile right before your teeth shatter because in the end we're just porcelain for someone bigger than us to smash but they believe it because it's easier? you know the feeling when you think you've learned all the words in the world you could ever hope to need, but y